2. Don’t care what a person will do only if you CARE about that person more than yourself.

Good and Evil (to get a bit dramatic) abide to these 2 rules. I’ll let you guess why they produce so completely different results.

I agree. The sole criteria of whether to step over the line is the benefit to others. It’s as simple as pushing someone out of the way of a speeding car. You do it not because you hate him but to help him. How strong and far you push is in direct proportion to the situation and in balance with what is necessary.

Authenticity can be elusive to and for some, but that does not negate it’s merit. Let’s face it – it’s much too difficult to maintain a facade. I caution my clients to understand and cultivate the brand that they want to convey (authentically) so that they create value in the minds and hearts of everyone they encounter…not a carefully crafted mask, but a true representation of who they really are. 

Ultimately, you can’t control how people perceive you, but you can present your best possible self from the beginning.   

I really like approaching this issue in the way that the following part of your post suggests: 

“The advice I give to my clients is to be true to yourself, and authentic in your approach to creating a great first impression. As an example, I don’t really care what someone pays for their clothing or automobile, or even how expensive their office accoutrements are, but I do notice whether or not they are well maintained and appropriate for the given situation.”

With appearances, I suppose the two extremes are:

1.  Completely being yourself and not taking into consideration what others think at all

2.  Only caring about how others will view you

I think that either extreme is not the most effective way to go.  Instead, an appropriate balance between the two will get the best results.

While I was reading the first part of your post, I kept thinking “You’ve got to be yourself.”  But I completely agree that appearances do matter, so taking into consideration how you will be viewed is important.

I’m comfortable with a formula of two-thirds of “Be yourself” and one-third of “Consider how it will look to others.”

I think that ought to put people close to their “best self” professionally.

I was just watching some Leadership and Influence Summit videos this morning. One of the presenters, Jonathan Acuff, was making some points regarding the relative importance of ‘Honesty vs. Talent’. He pointed out how, through the explosion of readily available information, people are becoming much more discerning and appreciative of the ‘what you see is what you get’ genuine message.

Soren Kierkegaard said: “Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.” 

Thanks for being an ally of transparency.

Ron

Thank you for a thoughtful post.