While your point is a good one, you’re wrong about Tai Chi. Tai Chi isn’t Yin. It is the cultivation of a deep rooted understanding of the interplay of Yin and Yang – the harmony of opposites.
On their own, they are each fairly useless – because, if you think about it, motion is impossible. Each is interdependent upon the other, and through interaction, harmonious motion is possible.
Full & Empty, Light and Dark, Hard and Soft, Fast and Slow, Aggressive and Passive, these are merely stages in the constant harmonious motion.
“Listening”, in the Tai Chi sense is about developing an instinctive “feel” for where along the continuum a person is in their distribution between 100% Yin and 100% Yang, and acting to disrupt what harmonious motion they have, or to exploit any disharmony detected. Conversely, one can also use the same sensitivity to reinforce harmony or mitigate disharmony.
And this latter point is where the concept of Yin and Yang and Tai Chi can be useful as a metaphorical and practical tool in organisational change.
Incidentally – pretty much all martial arts at their highest levels end up moving towards this understanding (even if it is not conscious).
Tai Chi by the way, is a proper martial art – with fighting and weapons. As a younger man, I fought in full contact open martial arts competitions as a Tai Chi fighter. You can’t learn Tai Chi unless you are learning Tai Chi Combat (because so many of the insights, techniques, lessons, and so on are inextricably linked to combat). You might learn a pretty dance that looks a bit like Tai Chi, but it is not Tai Chi.

Hilary: Great insight. In the end, we want to act in a decent way that helps us contribute the most to our team–for most of us that means we’ll have to spend some time talking and some time listening. I’ve heard that we have two ears and one mouth and would be wise to use them proportionally. That’s pretty good advice in any endeavor.

Thanks again, Brian

Dionne:

Thanks for reading and responding. Couldn’t agree more; there are leaders who shoot messengers, attack bad news, dominate the talking time, etc. I’ve worked for some poster children when it comes to bad leadership behavior; I’ve learned from them too–learned I don’t want to act like that and what if feels like to be treated that way.

In the end, the best leaders demonstrate respect for others, regardless of their position on the subject at hand or their position in the organization.

I’ve gotten so I can judge the quality of a workplace just by the way the team communicates. In the best workplaces discussions are lively, fun, always polite, and focused on improving the business at hand….

I like to say, “listening may communicate more than anything a leader says all day.”

Thanks again, Brian

Thanks Julie, great insight. Beyond modeling good behavior, leaders really have to make the case that honesty is best for the enterprise. We all arrive at work with a different values orientation but we have to work within the same values framework. Those values are a key to our competitive edge, etc. Finally, you have to have some checks on behavior and a willingness to do something about violators. The way you go about that something also speaks to the values of the organization.

Thanks for reading and the response. Brian

A tricky thing I’ve observed and I am not sure your experience, is that many people who are garrulous and don’t listen, when given that feedback, are incredibly defensive about it.

I think if someone has the self-awareness to know that they like to dominate conversations then they tend to try to manage it in the first place.

In lieu of that, leaders should at least be open to receiving uncomfortable feedback, again, quite a rare quality in my experience.

This is an important piece when working with leaders. I will share it widely.

Thanks you.

So true!!! What formal tools do military commanders use? Where did you serve and what did you do?

I find the very core traits that make us great leaders also prevent us from listening effectively. We have to be self aware and listen passionately!